Braintree day centre offers lifeline for local couple
ECL Braintree Older People’s service provides valuable respite for Malcolm whose wife Doreen lives with dementia.
Malcolm met Doreen in 1964. They were in their late teens at a dance, when Malcolm plucked up the courage to ask Doreen to dance and the couple have been inseparable ever since.
They fell in love, married and have spent all of their lives together. It has always been the two of them, against the world, and they remain very much in love.
In 2018 Doreen was diagnosed as having dementia and Malcolm became her full-time carer. At first, he cared for Doreen in their home without any external support. But when Doreen began to need help with personal care, Malcolm felt that she would benefit from a female carer to come to their home to help maintain Doreen’s dignity and pride in her appearance.
A conversation with a social worker led to Malcolm being offered additional support through ECL day services.
Malcolm was reluctant at first, he felt that he should be the sole carer for his wife. He did not want to be away from Doreen, he was worried she would feel scared without him and had concerns that she wouldn’t be cared for as well as she was at home with him.
While they do not have children of their own, the couple are very close with their nieces and nephews, and it was their nephews who convinced Malcolm to try a day centre as they felt he was doing too much.
Malcolm said: “I’d never heard of day centres before really, but the social worker said that it might be better for me for Doreen to go to day centre. I didn’t agree with this - it’s my job as her husband to look after her. I made that vow on our wedding day. You have to take the rough with the smooth! Doreen and I have never really been apart, so it didn’t feel right to me to leave her somewhere for the day. But my nephews talked me into it, and honestly, I’ve not looked back. It’s been such a lifeline for me.
“It’s done me the world of good and Doreen has really benefitted from going. The staff at ECL Braintree could not be any kinder. She is completely looked after there, they are fantastic. Doreen going to the day centre means I can get out and do things and I can relax knowing that she is taken care of. I don’t have to rush and clock watch.”
Doreen going to the day centre means I can get out and do things and I can relax knowing that she is taken care of. I don’t have to rush and clock watch.
Malcolm, Doreen's husband
Doreen attending the day centre on a Monday and a Friday has been transformative for Malcolm.
Twice a week he is able to do take some time for himself to do the things that he needs to do. While his beloved Doreen is at the day centre, he has the peace of mind that she is being looked after by a team of specialist carers.
Lucy Stock, Lead Manager at ECL Braintree Older People’s Service said: “Doreen attends our centre twice a week and has experienced friendship, music, wellbeing support and has a smile that would brighten any dark day.
“Malcolm has become a regular visitor to the centre too, often bringing in cakes for the team and biscuits for the customers. He has been welcomed as part of our day centre family. The relationship we’ve built with Malcolm has been great for them both.”
This sentiment is shared by Malcolm who also thinks of the Braintree Day Centre team as family.
He said: “The team there feel like part of the family now. They always call if they want to chat something through that might help Doreen. I often pop into see her for a coffee on the days she goes, and they make me feel so welcome. Whenever I drop in, there is always a carer with Doreen holding her hand. They really do take care of her.”
The ECL team provides Malcolm with another valuable level of support in addition to that of his family.
Malcolm said: “I’ve got a lot of admiration for the staff there. They have been brilliant. They even shower her and wash her hair when she’s there because they know I find that hard.
“I know that if I need anything they are there for me. Especially Lucy – she gets things done! She has really helped with carers allowance. I applied and was told I didn’t qualify so I left it at that. But Lucy had other ideas. She arranged for a visit from a lady from social services to come and meet with Doreen and I and as a result I now get some financial help. I can’t thank her enough.”
To anyone in a similar position to himself, Malcolm has an important message:
“Don’t be afraid to try a day centre, I was dubious, but it’s been a god send. I look back and wonder why I was so worried about Doreen going to ECL Braintree.”
ECL’s day centres for older people offer a ‘home from home’ environment that facilitates friendship and community interaction. Our centres specialise in supporting individuals with additional needs, decreased mobility and/or who are living with conditions such as dementia including Vascular, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases, Lewy Body, Frontotemporal and mixed dementia.
